Reasons not to mess with Children

Just found this on another forum,

Reasons not to
mess with children.

The teacher said it was
physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though
it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said,
"When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked,
"What if Jonah went to @$(&?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of
children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to
see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was
working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat,
or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she
asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers
and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her
mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her
mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitivelyasked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry
or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how
come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

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The children had all been photographed, and the
teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when
you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the
blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I
stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would
turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a
large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of
chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

PS. It looks like there are words we can't use on this forum, i.e. "h--l". That's funny, too!

Score a bunch of points for the kids.



Fay

Rike wrote:

PS. It looks like there are words we can't use on this forum, i.e. "h--l". That's funny, too!

yeah true... but Wwe didn't like it... so we changed it up a bit... but always thought it was funny... if there is heaven... well righteously there is a h--l... ya know yin & yang

and I think using those "curse signs" implicates more than what it means when the word is used in the proper way... sometimes things can be taken too way ahead


Thanks for the laughs Rike!

pepperpot wrote:

Rike wrote:

PS. It looks like there are words we can't use on this forum, i.e. "h--l". That's funny, too!

yeah true... but Wwe didn't like it... so we changed it up a bit... but always thought it was funny... if there is heaven... well righteously there is a h--l... ya know yin & yang

and I think using those "curse signs" implicates more than what it means when the word is used in the proper way... sometimes things can be taken too way ahead


Thanks for the laughs Rike!

Agree Sam.

Have seen the jokes above make the email circuit...but I laugh every time.

pepperpot wrote:

Rike wrote:

PS. It looks like there are words we can't use on this forum, i.e. "h--l". That's funny, too!

yeah true... but Wwe didn't like it... so we changed it up a bit... but always thought it was funny... if there is heaven... well righteously there is a h--l... ya know yin & yang

and I think using those "curse signs" implicates more than what it means when the word is used in the proper way... sometimes things can be taken too way ahead


Thanks for the laughs Rike!

What didn't I like?

A couple of thm were funny :p

wwe9112 wrote:

pepperpot wrote:

Rike wrote:

PS. It looks like there are words we can't use on this forum, i.e. "h--l". That's funny, too!

yeah true... but Wwe didn't like it... so we changed it up a bit... but always thought it was funny... if there is heaven... well righteously there is a h--l... ya know yin & yang

and I think using those "curse signs" implicates more than what it means when the word is used in the proper way... sometimes things can be taken too way ahead


Thanks for the laughs Rike!

What didn't I like?

A couple of thm were funny :p

lol...WWE... since from th previous board you told us you didnt like the word H--l

Oh ok sorry... my bad :p.

It is good to have some control of the language used - but it can get to me a pain sometimes. I rememer once on the HP board - I was going to say - I hate it when "such as such" happens. I could not use the word hate - eventhough the context had nothing to do with people. So I think I had to say soemthing like " I don't like it when "such as such" happens.

Fay

I really can't see anything wrong with the word H--l! My goodness, it comes right out of the bible!

Rike wrote:

I really can't see anything wrong with the word H--l! My goodness, it comes right out of the bible!

EXACLTY!! as I said... sometimes things are taken too way ahead ... and if you can say heaven why cant you say h-ell... I think that was my argument on the other forum... lol... but as I am not "religious" my point could not be seen... so I let sleeping dogs lie until now... lol Plus the only time the word is being used on the forum are in jokes... the irony of it... its used mostly in kids jokes

Depends on how the word is used - it can be abused! If one is talking about the place where evildoers go, I have no objection. If one is telling another where to go, or "what the ....", then I do object. This is not a forum for off-color language, and it isn't necessary to add it to our speech to make a point. I've seen forums where expressing oneself by injecting curse words seems to be the norm, and that is not what we set this forum up for - this is a family forum where all ages and gender should feel welcome and comfortable with the format and language being used, whatever their background and personal morals are. You wouldn't want to be a bad influence on wwe now, would you?

I agree with you, Repa - I get turned off by those slang/swear word forums, but I must say that we've had very few members over time on this forum that needed to be silenced! I guess that just by repeating a joke I only noticed that we have "banned" words gets to show that we don't lean in that direction here!
However, I can't see how the spelling will change the meaning if somebody wants to tell me to "go to @$(&."

Ooops, now it spelled out!

Rike, that's because you put the " next to the l in h--l and not after the . I changed it to read h--l." instead of h--l". (which is more grammatically correct, btw ) and the word censor works. We only have 6 total censored words on this message board, so you can see that the need has been very minimal, indeed.